Recently, my Facebook timeline has been flooded with images of seniors who got into all of the Ivy League schools or students surrounded by a remarkable number of acceptance letters. Their success is surely to be commended as they've obviously worked tremendously hard to earn so many acceptances. But in looking at those headlines, I wonder "what now?" How will they navigate all of those yeses to find the right yes? Is possible that too much of a good thing makes it more difficult to find and appreciate the right thing.
When it comes to choosing a college, students are increasingly casting wide and sometimes aimless nets. While doing so increases their odds of getting into a school, it doesn't help them get into the right school. Choosing a college is an important personal decision that requires more consideration than family legacy, popular athletic programs or even the brand name of the university.
As students aim to make their first major decision as a young adult, this is a great opportunity for them to learn how to define their priorities and articulate why the decision they are making reflects who they are and who they hope to be four years from now.
If you have a senior, here are a few points for consideration:
1. College is about 60% academic and 40% social/networking. And for B/C students who are social butterflies, that ratio my be reversed. When you think of it that way, choosing a school purely based on its academic merit, still earns you an F on a 100 point scale. This is the last place where you will be in a confined space of your peers. During your college years, you’ll party with them, but 10 to 20 years out, you’ll all be professionals in various corners of the world. Which school is likely to help you build relationships that you can carry into your professional life? And don't feel like you have to go {insert small elite university} to be plugged in. Some of the world’s top C-suite executives went to the bigger state schools and graduated with a decent GPA and a stellar network. There’s a lot of truth to the saying “it’s not what you know, it’s who you know.” Choose a school where you’ll graduate with a something as useful as a strong GPA: a stellar network. (Note: This applies to parents choosing between public and private at the k-12 level as well.)
2. Leverage what you learned about yourself in high school. High school is a "modified" college reality, and reflecting on that experience can give you a sound foundation for choosing where you spend the next four years. Looking back at your time in high school, what did you learn about yourself as a student? In what kinds of spaces did you perform best? Worst? In which classes did you excel? Was it because you were personally motivated or did a particular type of teacher really inspire you? Was it when you had 5 tests in one week and you felt like there was no margin for error and you felt the thrill of the challenge? Or was it in that class where the teacher used more of the Socratic Seminar method that you felt challenged intellectually? Or maybe it was those random conversations in the student center or cafeteria with your peers where you learned the most? Understanding the environment that charges you up is a must when considering which college to choose. One, because you need to know that about yourself wherever you go. Second, some schools are more conducive to your learning style than others. Hopefully, you had a chance to visit the schools you are choosing between and had a moment to actually sit in on classes rather than shuffle along on a tour. You (or your parents) are paying heftily for this experience, you might as well choose the place where you’ll be at least kind of excited for those early morning classes. Beyond choosing the school, knowing this about yourself can also help you when choosing between professors.
Now look back at what you learned about yourself socially? Did your high school meet your social needs? Were you able to find your tribe—your people? If not, what needs went unmet? What do you want from your college experience socially? Even though you may not have realized it, school is the only time in your life where you spent countless hours with people your age. In high school you might have been a part of non-school related clubs, but that doesn’t really happen in college. So don’t discount the importance of finding a place where you actually like hanging out with the people. After you graduate, you’ll be thrown into the professional world where your peers range from 21 to 50+ year old, and finding life-long friends won't be as easy. So when you are deciding between A and B, consider what type of people who attend each school and which social structures the school offers, and ask yourself, could I live it up here?
3. Know your limits and stretch them--a little. You may have gone to a small, private school and found that it was just too small, and you are considering a school where you can hide a little, and that’s fine, as long as you don’t get lost. Take a moment to ask yourself, how much might be too much for me? How big might be too big? How far might be too far? Definitely push yourself to grow since one of the perks of college is that it is very forgiving and you get to cut up a bit without worrying that big brother is watching. However, be careful not to give yourself too much rope. For those who might be inclined to party a little too hard, acknowledge that and choose a school where you a) can’t get lost, b) won’t be so socially stimulating that you lose focus of your #1 from above, and c) are close enough to activate your safety net (mom and dad) if need be. If you are laser focused on academics, use these four years as an opportunity to stretch yourself some, branch out and develop social skills you neglected while trying to graduate at the top of your high school class. Don’t walk across that stage four years from now not having challenged yourself to build solid relationships with people other than your professors. By the end of your time in college, you want to be as close to the professional version of yourself as possible, and I’d hope that you don’t want to live your entire adult life buried in the books without a social outlet. So for you, the school that has strong academics but a relaxed social culture might provide the rounding out experience you need before you launch into a world filled with…other people.
“Don’t walk across that stage four years from now not having challenged yourself...By the end of your time in college, you want to be closest to the professional version of yourself as possible.”
4. Be okay with the tradeoff. No school is perfect. Period. There will be a tradeoff wherever you go, and you should know what that tradeoff is before you say yes. Maybe the tuition is bonkers, but what you're going to get is exactly what you want, and your parents or whoever is on board with this as an investment. Maybe you won't get to play sports for the school because it's big and Division I, but you've looked into other ways that you can be plugged in to the sports scene (athletic trainer, intramural sports, sport clubs) and you are good with that. Maybe the school lacks the diversity you want or are accustomed to, but you've plugged in with the affinity groups via social media channels and you feel like those are your people. Whatever it is, call out the place where the school misses the mark and make sure you are okay with that tradeoff. Otherwise, you might find yourself in next year's transfer applicant pool (which is better than staying some place you don't want to be, but it's still kind of a pain).
When all is said and done, recognize that college is the place where you can test drive the budding adult version of yourself, and it’s also the last time you’ll get a pass for making silly mistakes that can be chalked up to your being “young and dumb.” Wherever you choose to go, make it a point to live the college experience thoroughly. Don’t die. Don’t get caught doing anything that could get you thrown out. And study abroad—it may be the only chance you get to explore the world for months at a time and earn credit for it. Happy choosing!
