Beyond Netflix: 5 Productive Things Your High Schooler Can Do During Coronavirus Lockdown

Yesterday, I shared tips for how parents with younger kids could keep them engaged with school being out for several weeks. One of the parents on my email list sent me a few things she’s doing with her high school sophomore, and I thought, “Of course! There are productive things they can/should be doing as well.”

I know it’s way easier to just let them be, and that’s exactly what they’ll do if you don’t encourage otherwise. So why should you ask them to suspend their Netflix/FaceTime with friends binge sessions? Because for the first time since they’ve been in high school, they have significantly fewer competing priorities. There’s no sports practice, no drama practice, no party this weekend to compete with that productive thing they should be doing. For the first time in a long time, that actually have time.

But this won’t always be the case. One day, things are going to pick back up again. School will start back up. College applications will be due. Life will resume. And if they use even a fraction of this time for just one meaningful hour or two a day, they could create some new and improved habits or develop interests they can take back to school when it opens.

Talk about an opportunity for a reset–this is it.

So here are 5 things can your teen do beyond Netflix during this lockdown:

Plan their day.

I know. I know. Asking a teenager to plan anything is inviting an eyeroll. But listen, in just a few years, they are going to be out of your house, on their own, in college or somewhere, and one of the most important skills they’ll need is knowing how to manage their own time.

When school is in session, their time is blocked for them. Go to this class at this time, this practice at this time, this tutorial at this time, and then do homework. But when they go to college, they get to choose their schedule, and if they haven’t had any real practice with it, they’ll fumble around spewing tuition dollars all over the place until they figure it out. However, if they wake up each day over this 3-6 week hiatus and map out 3 things they want to do that day: one something physical, one something to nurture their curiosities, and maybe one something to get ahead, not only will they continue exercising their mental and physical “muscles,” they’ll also develop the skill of planning. Win. Win.

Nurture their curiosities.

Remember when you were a kid and you loved {insert thing you loved}. You could spend all day tinkering with that thing because you were fascinated by it. No one had to push you to do it. You just did because you were into it. Nurturing your curiosity was fun.

With the over-scheduling that’s rampant in high school all in the name of getting into a great college, we’ve taught them that what they are genuinely interested in comes in a distant second or third to busy-ness. Don’t get me wrong, college is important. You know what’s more important? Knowing what lights your fire, so you know what to study when you get there. Use this time to encourage your teen to find and fall in love with her interests again.

Ask them, “If your time was totally yours, and you got to decide how you’d spend it doing something you really enjoy, what would it be? What is something you’re curious about? If you were going to start a blog or podcast, what would it be about?” Whatever they say, resist the urge to judge or question. Just say, “Wow. That’s cool. Without all of the busy-ness of school, you could really dig into that?” With that, you’ve planted the seed, and all you’ll have to do from this day forward is ask, “What’d you figure out about {insert thing} today?” By asking about it, you’re sending the message that what interests them matters. And doing that deepens your connection and strengthens your relationship. Win. Win.

Let’s get physical.

I ran track all the way through college, so I assumed that when I graduated, I’d still do something. Wrong. I started teaching, and running/working out just weren’t a priority. When you have scheduled sports practice, a game schedule, and a time when all of your closest friends are in the gym, working out is easy. It’s a social event. But when there is no scheduled practice, no upcoming game, and no meet-up in the weight room, it’s harder to make yourself get up and work out.

In the same way planning the day is a skill that can become a useful habit, so is exercising. It doesn’t matter if that thing is taking a 30 minute walk, doing a yoga workout with an app, or shooting around in the driveway, doing something everyday builds the lifelong healthy habit.

Create some margin.

Teens are busier than ever these days, so finding time to do the other things like online driver’s ed, researching colleges and scholarships, or writing college essays some times don’t get their full or best attention. With a little less on their plates, they actually have time to get ahead, which will create a little margin for them when things get back to normal.

Can you imagine how much more sane a high school junior might be if he spent an hour a day researching college options, connecting with people who attend this school and that school to ask about their experience? Can you imagine how many scholarships one might find if they used Scholly to research possible scholarships? How much more sane and exciting would the summer be if they looked for summer opportunities that further nurtured their curiosities?

There are so many things that teens normally have to squeeze in that this break could give them the time and space they need to have more margin and more sanity down the line.

Reflect on the day.

One of the things many adults struggle with is taking time to stop and reflect. We are so busy doing, that being still and celebrating our progress and being grateful for our wins and our learnings (not losses), that we just feel burdened and burned out.

If that’s not the life we want our children to inherit, we have this unique opportunity to teach and model something different. You don’t have a late night work dinner. You don’t have to hop on a plane for business. You don’t have lesson plans to write or papers to grade. What you do have is time.

Turn off the phones, connect and reflect. Have family dinner. Sit down on the couch and ask them about their day. Ask questions. What did you do for exercise today? How many shots did you make? What app did you use for yoga? What did you learn about {insert curiosity}? Is that how you thought that worked? Find any summer things you’re interested in?

By asking questions, you let them know you’re interested, that sharing is important, and you’re helping them reflect on their own process. Not only is this good for them, this is also parent/child relationship-building gold.

Yes, the Coronavirus is wreaking havoc, but in some weird way, it’s given you a gift–the opportunity to help your teen reset and focus on the skills, habits and behavior that will last her a lifetime.

When's the right time to begin looking for a school?

One of the questions I am asked most frequently is "When should we start looking for real?" Parents who ask this question already have a leg up over many others because they realize that there's the window shopping version of school selection, and then there's the I'm-going-in-to-buy version.  However, the reality is before you step foot in any store to window shop or otherwise, you have to have some idea of what you need and what you want. Yes, those things are separated by an oh, so important "and". You see in Houston, we are really fortunate to have some great school options, many of which are quite solid in the way of academics.  However, knowing what else you do or don't want will often be the deciding factor between two or three great schools.  

That said, when starting the process for real, you have to keep in mind the gravity of the decision you are making.  I often say that choosing a school is like getting married since the person/school chosen is going to raise kids with you. Each time you drop your child off at school, you hand off the parenting baton to the adults on that campus. The other students are your son or daughter's extended family, and the teachers are their other parents. This is especially true when you are choosing a preschool or elementary because your children are sponges soaking up the behaviors and attitudes of everyone around them. 

When you think of it this way, the idea of using a school tour to find your child's home away from home is like saying we are going to choose our spouse by speed dating and speed dating alone. If you really want to get to know a school so that you can make the most informed decision, I'd say start at least a full year ahead of the upcoming transition. That means if you are looking for a high school, you want to start looking when your child is a 7th grader. If you are looking for a middle school, start looking in 4th grade. This will give you enough time to do a thorough job inspecting all of the elements of a school that matter to you without the right now, right now, right now time crunch that happens when you try to find and apply to multiple schools in the usual September to December time frame. 

And if you are one of those people who isn't stressed out by on-the-go decision-making, there are two additional benefits of giving yourself the year to do the research: 1) application fees and 2) two weeks in March. Application fees and the test prep that many parents elect for their children can add up pretty quickly--especially for families choosing between independent schools. While I encourage families to fall in love with more than one school, casting a wide net just because doesn't make your March any simpler. "What does applying in December have to do with March," you ask. When admissions letters are mailed out the second week in March, you and your family have roughly two weeks to decide. If you rushed through the research phase, didn't include your spouse and/or kids in the process, or just casts your line everywhere so you'd have options, you'll find yourself in an all out panic come March. And if the letter from your dream school reads that your child has been put on the waitlist, your level of panic will be on another level. Why put yourself through that? If you can find little ways to simplify and streamline the process while getting the best results, why wouldn't you? 

Visiting schools this fall and want guidance on what to look for? Check out our Get the Most Out of School Tours, a 9-page guide that includes 3 Steps to Help You Choose Well, 4 Things That Matter When Looking For A School, and Navigating School Admissions -The Student Edition.

Crumbine Ed is Featured in Houston Business Journal!

When people ask me what I do, they often respond "I didn't know that was a thing" or "I wish you were around when I was choosing a school for my son/daughter." While educational consultants have been around for decades on the East and West Coasts, working with an objective expert in education to navigate schools is still a novelty in Houston. Paul Takahashi of the Houston Business Journal featured Crumbine Ed in its latest online edition, highlighting my work to help parents find the right schools for their children.  

Houston education consulting still a 'burgeoning business' compared to New York by Paul Takahashi

Navigating the educational landscape in the Bayou City can be a daunting task for native Houstonians, let alone newcomers.

With so many options — public, private, magnet, charter and boarding schools — it is often an overwhelming challenge for parents to pick the best school for their children.

Enter Aisha Crumbine. Since 2013, the educational consultant has been helping parents, particularly new residents relocating to Houston, find the best fit school for their children.

Read more of the Q & A feature here.

Give Yourself and Your Kids A Break: Go On Vacation!

A few weeks ago I went on the most amazing vacation. It was the end of admissions season, and I wanted time to recharge as well as spend uninterrupted time with my family.

Given that I research vacations like I do schools, I focused on kid-friendly places that had an element of luxury and service. If I have to plan anything (meals, activities, etc.) that’s work for me. I need those things taken care of so I can be present for my kids, my husband and for myself. We wanted a place where we could spend quality time together, do stuff if we wanted to, but for the most part  just be. We decided on Grand Velas Riviera Maya.

So with kids in tow, my husband and I hopped on a plane and flew down to Mexico.  

The moment we arrived at Grand Velas, the gate on the rest of the world closed. Our room was in Zen Garden, the quiet side of the resort, where thatched roofs covered the walkways and provided shade.  Within minutes, my kids wanted to explore, and it took what felt like 10 seconds for them to find the Kids’ Club. We walked in and two women immediately got on their level and walked them over to the wall of games. With our kids ignoring us, Dave and I looked at each other. Maybe we’ll actually be able to go to dinner by ourselves???

Prying the kids away with promises (and hopes) that we’d come back, we set off to explore the rest of the resort. We hopped on the 2 minute shuttle that would drive us to Ambassador, the beachfront section of the resort where we'd spend most of our time. Starting with lunch. Prime rib for Dave. Pizza and fruit for the kids. Freshly made ceviche and the most amazing chocolate lava cake for me. (I literally had this--and several other things--everyday.)

Me with my favorite guy!

Shrimp and tuna ceviche--yum!

We went back to exploring and stumbled upon the swanky Teens’ Club right next to the second Kids’ Club. With everything from karaoke to a bar where they have non-alcholic mixology lessons, video game pods and my favorite hype guys, Rafael and Carlos—this place was a big kid’s paradise! (This would be perfect for joint family vacations! Teens hang out here, while the adults hangout poolside.)  

Yes, this place was all right.  

Over the next four days, it was much of the same. Us waking up from 9 sometimes 10 hours of sleep, heading to an amazing breakfast (mimosa please!) and then reading, sleeping or playing by the pool, scuba diving or kayaking, doing whatever our little hearts desired—even if that meant playing splash in the jet bath in our room. My son figured out that making hot tea soothes him. My daughter threw herself in to art, making paintings and personalizing her shirt. I read a whole book. My husband got some quality time for himself scuba diving in the water right off the resort. And our kids enjoying the Kids’ Club enough for Dave and I to have not one but two romantic dinner dates in Grand Class, the all adult section of the resort—topping off our husband/wife time with several brutal rounds ping-pong at the Teens’ Club.

Everything about our time here was just lovely. The place. The people. The food. Everything.

This moment away is exactly what we needed. 

Sometimes we get so caught up trying to do everything just right for our kids. We try to get them into the perfect school, into the right activities, making sure they do this and do that. We have to remind ourselves that it is equally, if not more important to stop and be with our kids. My work is about tuning in to our kids and making decision about schooling that help our kids shine. Stepping away from the madness gives you time and space to do that.  This isn’t a departure from my work. It’s a reminder that to tune in, sometimes, you have to tune other things out.

Want more on how family vacations benefit you and your child, check out this article written by a psychologist: Family Vacations Serve as ‘Happiness Anchors’ for Kids Until They Grow Up. And if you are you looking to be spoiled with amazing food, exceptional service, beautiful grounds and the opportunity for quality family time, you should definitely check out Grand Velas. 

Note: This piece was done in partnership with Grand Velas, who agreed at my request to be featured on this blog. Goods and services may have been received in exchanged for inclusion; however, all sentiments are mine. -Aisha 

Aim True: 4 Things Every Senior Should Consider When Choosing A College

Recently, my Facebook timeline has been flooded with images of seniors who got into all of the Ivy League schools or students surrounded by a remarkable number of acceptance letters. Their success is surely to be commended as they've obviously worked tremendously hard to earn so many acceptances. But in looking at those headlines, I wonder "what now?" How will they navigate all of those yeses to find the right yes? Is possible that too much of a good thing makes it more difficult to find and appreciate the right thing.

When it comes to choosing a college, students are increasingly casting wide and sometimes aimless nets. While doing so increases their odds of getting into a school, it doesn't help them get into the right school. Choosing a college is an important personal decision that requires more consideration than family legacy, popular athletic programs or even the brand name of the university.  

As students aim to make their first major decision as a young adult, this is a great opportunity for them to learn how to define their priorities and articulate why the decision they are making reflects who they are and who they hope to be four years from now.  

If you have a senior, here are a few points for consideration: 

1. College is about 60% academic and 40% social/networking. And for B/C students who are social butterflies, that ratio my be reversed.  When you think of it that way, choosing a school purely based on its academic merit, still earns you an F on a 100 point scale. This is the last place where you will be in a confined space of your peers. During your college years, you’ll party with them, but 10 to 20 years out, you’ll all be professionals in various corners of the world. Which school is likely to help you build relationships that you can carry into your professional life? And don't feel like you have to go {insert small elite university} to be plugged in. Some of the world’s top C-suite executives went to the bigger state schools and graduated with a decent GPA and a stellar network. There’s a lot of truth to the saying “it’s not what you know, it’s who you know.” Choose a school where you’ll graduate with a something as useful as a strong GPA: a stellar network. (Note: This applies to parents choosing between public and private at the k-12 level as well.)  

2.  Leverage what you learned about yourself in high school.  High school is a "modified" college reality, and reflecting on that experience can give you a sound foundation for choosing where you spend the next four years. Looking back at your time in high school, what did you learn about yourself as a student?  In what kinds of spaces did you perform best? Worst? In which classes did you excel? Was it because you were personally motivated or did a particular type of teacher really inspire you? Was it when you had 5 tests in one week and you felt like there was no margin for error and you felt the thrill of the challenge? Or was it in that class where the teacher used more of the Socratic Seminar method that you felt challenged intellectually?  Or maybe it was those random conversations in the student center or cafeteria with your peers where you learned the most? Understanding the environment that charges you up is a must when considering which college to choose.  One, because you need to know that about yourself wherever you go. Second, some schools are more conducive to your learning style than others.  Hopefully, you had a chance to visit the schools you are choosing between and had a moment to actually sit in on classes rather than shuffle along on a tour. You (or your parents) are paying heftily for this experience, you might as well choose the place where you’ll be at least kind of excited for those early morning classes. Beyond choosing the school, knowing this about yourself can also help you when choosing between professors.

Now look back at what you learned about yourself socially? Did your high school meet your social needs? Were you able to find your tribe—your people? If not, what needs went unmet?  What do you want from your college experience socially? Even though you may not have realized it, school is the only time in your life where you spent countless hours with people your age.  In high school you might have been a part of non-school related clubs, but that doesn’t really happen in college.  So don’t discount the importance of finding a place where you actually like hanging out with the people.  After you graduate, you’ll be thrown into the professional world where your peers range from 21 to 50+ year old, and finding life-long friends won't be as easy. So when you are deciding between A and B, consider what type of people who attend each school and which social structures the school offers, and ask yourself, could I live it up here? 

3. Know your limits and stretch them--a little. You may have gone to a small, private school and found that it was just too small, and you are considering a school where you can hide a little, and that’s fine, as long as you don’t get lost.  Take a moment to ask yourself, how much might be too much for me?  How big might be too big? How far might be too far?  Definitely push yourself to grow since one of the perks of college is that it is very forgiving and you get to cut up a bit without worrying that big brother is watching. However, be careful not to give yourself too much rope. For those who might be inclined to party a little too hard, acknowledge that and choose a school where you a) can’t get lost, b) won’t be so socially stimulating that you lose focus of your #1 from above, and c) are close enough to activate your safety net (mom and dad) if need be.  If you are laser focused on academics, use these four years as an opportunity to stretch yourself some, branch out and develop social skills you neglected while trying to graduate at the top of your high school class. Don’t walk across that stage four years from now not having challenged yourself to build solid relationships with people other than your professors. By the end of your time in college, you want to be as close to the professional version of yourself as possible, and I’d hope that you don’t want to live your entire adult life buried in the books without a social outlet.  So for you, the school that has strong academics but a relaxed social culture might provide the rounding out experience you need before you launch into a world filled with…other people.

“Don’t walk across that stage four years from now not having challenged yourself...By the end of your time in college, you want to be closest to the professional version of yourself as possible.”

4. Be okay with the tradeoff. No school is perfect. Period. There will be a tradeoff wherever you go, and you should know what that tradeoff is before you say yes. Maybe the tuition is bonkers, but what you're going to get is exactly what you want, and your parents or whoever is on board with this as an investment. Maybe you won't get to play sports for the school because it's big and Division I, but you've looked into other ways that you can be plugged in to the sports scene (athletic trainer, intramural sports, sport clubs) and you are good with that. Maybe the school lacks the diversity you want or are accustomed to, but you've plugged in with the affinity groups via social media channels and you feel like those are your people. Whatever it is, call out the place where the school misses the mark and make sure you are okay with that tradeoff.  Otherwise, you might find yourself in next year's transfer applicant pool (which is better than staying some place you don't want to be, but it's still kind of a pain). 

When all is said and done, recognize that college is the place where you can test drive the budding adult version of yourself, and it’s also the last time you’ll get a pass for making silly mistakes that can be chalked up to your being “young and dumb.” Wherever you choose to go, make it a point to live the college experience thoroughly.  Don’t die. Don’t get caught doing anything that could get you thrown out. And study abroad—it may be the only chance you get to explore the world for months at a time and earn credit for it. Happy choosing!